You know you are having a cracker of a time searching on the internet, when you stumble upon a web site all about the where about of public toilets (along with rate my dick, the missing sex scenes from pride and prejudice and a ‘dismember me plush zombie’ – I have varied choices of viewing, and weirdly enough, these page results came about cause I was looking for cemeteries. Odd. )
As I was saying, public toilets. Now, as one who has had no hesitation about where I pee when desperate, this came as a somewhat revelation to my bladder. All this time I have squatted and nearly fell over in rocky terrain, hoped I was never bitten on the arse by a snake and hoping against hope that I never peed on a bull ants nest (this has happened to a friend and I nearly wet myself laughing, though she never saw the funny side), and all I had to do was search this site to be told where all the public loos are in Australia. Yessiree, its federal web site. Nice to know where my tax dollars are going. I can even log into this site to see what I have saved from previous trips (man that sounds so wrong on so many levels!), plan a trip (all around toilets, yay!), and display your toilets, places and searches. It’s like a fucked up ‘choose your own adventure’. Why hadn’t I found this bloody site when I went to Tasmania? It would’ve saved me a whole lotta bladder pain and scouting for the perfect place to pee. You know what I mean? Making sure that there was no one else around, making sure that there was gonna be no trucks or other cars going past and spotting my exposed lily white arse cheeks and most of all, trying not to piss on my own foot. The bain of every woman while travelling and camping. They need a website showing you how not to piss on your own foot. Scratch that last sentence, I just googled ‘how not to pee on your own foot’ –result is this
http://www.ehow.com/how_2309540_pee-woods-keep-dignity.html
Hmmm, I obviously have been doing wrong all these fuckin years. But that’s the key, dignity. Of which I must have none. I must have lost it many years ago, cause I kept pissing on my own foot. At least I don’t have athletes’ foot - lots of piss smelling shoes, but no dignity and athletes foot. It’s a trade off I am willing to make for the greater good of me. Men piss on their own feet too, ok so they are drunk and their aim is shite at times, but they have been known to piss on the old foot falcon too. Lucky bastards though, being able to pee standing up, write their name in the snow (when women try, they end doing moves like a Mr Whippy ice cream machine!), how high up a wall can you pee contests and trying to hit items that are far away or bobbing up and down in water. Unless you are that unfortunate bloke that got bitten on the willy by a brown snake in Northern Queensland. All men cringed and grabbed their dicks and moaned, while women had a laugh. Hehe just another day in sunny Queensland.
Anyways, the moral of the story is, he should’ve looked up this federally funded site, and found out where all the public dunnies are. Would’ve saved a WHOLE lot of embarrassment and ribbing from his mates.
For your viewing pleasure, go to http://www.toiletmap.gov.au/default.aspx
As I was saying, public toilets. Now, as one who has had no hesitation about where I pee when desperate, this came as a somewhat revelation to my bladder. All this time I have squatted and nearly fell over in rocky terrain, hoped I was never bitten on the arse by a snake and hoping against hope that I never peed on a bull ants nest (this has happened to a friend and I nearly wet myself laughing, though she never saw the funny side), and all I had to do was search this site to be told where all the public loos are in Australia. Yessiree, its federal web site. Nice to know where my tax dollars are going. I can even log into this site to see what I have saved from previous trips (man that sounds so wrong on so many levels!), plan a trip (all around toilets, yay!), and display your toilets, places and searches. It’s like a fucked up ‘choose your own adventure’. Why hadn’t I found this bloody site when I went to Tasmania? It would’ve saved me a whole lotta bladder pain and scouting for the perfect place to pee. You know what I mean? Making sure that there was no one else around, making sure that there was gonna be no trucks or other cars going past and spotting my exposed lily white arse cheeks and most of all, trying not to piss on my own foot. The bain of every woman while travelling and camping. They need a website showing you how not to piss on your own foot. Scratch that last sentence, I just googled ‘how not to pee on your own foot’ –result is this
http://www.ehow.com/how_2309540_pee-woods-keep-dignity.html
Hmmm, I obviously have been doing wrong all these fuckin years. But that’s the key, dignity. Of which I must have none. I must have lost it many years ago, cause I kept pissing on my own foot. At least I don’t have athletes’ foot - lots of piss smelling shoes, but no dignity and athletes foot. It’s a trade off I am willing to make for the greater good of me. Men piss on their own feet too, ok so they are drunk and their aim is shite at times, but they have been known to piss on the old foot falcon too. Lucky bastards though, being able to pee standing up, write their name in the snow (when women try, they end doing moves like a Mr Whippy ice cream machine!), how high up a wall can you pee contests and trying to hit items that are far away or bobbing up and down in water. Unless you are that unfortunate bloke that got bitten on the willy by a brown snake in Northern Queensland. All men cringed and grabbed their dicks and moaned, while women had a laugh. Hehe just another day in sunny Queensland.
Anyways, the moral of the story is, he should’ve looked up this federally funded site, and found out where all the public dunnies are. Would’ve saved a WHOLE lot of embarrassment and ribbing from his mates.
For your viewing pleasure, go to http://www.toiletmap.gov.au/default.aspx
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